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October '08
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August '08
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Unnecessary Roughness
By Aaron 11/25/2007
 I was really looking forward to Hitman, starring Timothy Olyphant, as a real fun actioner in the vein of Mr. and Mrs. Smith. And even though I thought Olga Kurylenko was great, it is damn near impossible to replace a persona (and a body) like Angelina Jolie. Needless to say that my love of Olyphant did not cause me to overlook the fact that he is nowhere near the action character that Brad Pitt is (Olyphant looks like a twig!)
Hitman follows Olyphant as the fabled gamer favorite, Agent 47, trained by the Organization, a semi-religious, all-powerful, conspiracy theorist’s wet dream of an institution. Trained from birth in all forms of violence, these Agents are the perfect weapon, and willing to work for anyone. After an easy job, Agent 47 receives a modification for his next assignment – that it must be public. No problem. Agent 47 sets up, pulls out his sniper rifle, and takes out the target. But it seems something is wrong. The target, who Agent 47 saw take a bullet to the head, is giving a speech. AND, the Organization seems to have given him up. He has been set up. But for whom? And why for? Only a call girl with an attitude can help Agent 47 uncover the plot he has been thrust into.
Maybe the movie tried to be more than it was (something Smith did not). But it does and it delivers more bad hits than good. The action scenes seem poorly pieced together, often having very little to do with each other. The scenes do not even flow well, as action scenes are separated by trips back to the hotel, or to rearm, instead of the running, tense action formula established by Bourne. The political intrigue is confusing only in the sense that it is underdeveloped and ridiculously contrived, a sort of Thunderball meets Face/Off meets every other action movie.
The movie doesn’t even try to help itself – setting Agent 47 up as a perfect specimen. I went back and deleted “near” before perfect because he was perfect – I don’t think he made a single flaw – in planning or action. The result is that the movie has ZERO tension and fights are never really suspenseful – of course Agent 47 is going to win. The best scene was where Agent 47 fought other agents – but that never happens again. Questions like WHY IS THIS HAPPENING are never answered. Perhaps the writers thought those were insignificant next to the explosions and senseless nudity. The movie’s attempt at making itself more intelligent, and building on the game’s storyline was the introduction of an Interpol character hot on Agent 47’s trail. While the actor did a good job, this character was EXTREMELY unnecessary, stole wasted screen time, and was just plain stupid.
Despite the mountain of disappointments, there were a few good things. The first surprise being that I really liked Olyphant. I guess I always do, but he was good here in an action role. The only problem being that Olyphant does not look like he could be Agent 47 – he looks like a nerd. As an aside, his bar-coded head, loved in game play, makes little sense in the movie as Agent 47 never makes an attempt to hide the marking that flaunts his identity. The second surprise was that I really liked Olga. Sure, most of that “liking” was because she was really hot – but she did a hell of a lot better than Asia Argento did in XXX (they look similar, playing mildly similar roles). I would like to see her in a few other movies, maybe a romantic comedy or two. No, not really a romantic comedy, but I did like her. She generated some good chemistry with Olyphant, even though the writers tried to lock him in an emotionless prison. She had good timing and delivery, and lightened the movie up. Chalk up the surprise of Olga, that one good action scene, a little bit of Timothy Olyphant, and I have to hand out a 4/10 saltystix.
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Bob’s October Movie Preview
By Bob 10/2/2008
 Now that we have gotten through the sludge of September movies, it’s time for some Oscar contenders, and movies that think they’re good but not. Halloween is also this month so there is bound to be a lot of random horror movies going on and of course a Saw film to soak in. Whatever happens though, I’m gonna guess that at least one of the following gets some nods come Oscar time. With that, my October Movie Preview:
Cops, Robbers, and Blah
10) Pride and Glory: October 24th
From the director of Miracle comes one of the most clichéd trailers of ALL TIME. Edward Norton as A COP. Colin Farrell as HIMSELF. What more could we want from a movie? I don’t know, and I will likely never find out because this is not one flick I will be seeing.
9) Max Payne: October 17th 
As I feverishly go through my mind trying to think of a video game adaptation that has actually been a good movie, I’m also reminded of all of the bad movies Marky Mark has made over the past ever (excluding The Departed and Boogie Nights of course). I would be shocked if there is anybody who is actually excited for this, as anybody who actually played the game has probably outgrown the genre.
8) Body of Lies: October 10th
Leonardo Dicaprio. Russell Crowe. Ridley Scott. Something about spies. The trailers really tell us nothing about this film except, “How am I supposed to run an operation when you’re running a side operation.” I don’t really know what that means, but Leo says it in the trailer. This film looks like another lame attempt by Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe to win Oscars. I’m not buying it.
7) Flash of Genius: October 3rd
Greg Kinnear stars as an man who invents the intermittent windshield wiper, and then has it stolen from him buy the major auto manufacturers. This just looks like a boring film that will get a lukewarm response. For some reason, however, it has been getting a huge level of marketing with television and even radio advertisements. I doubt people will buy it.
6) RocknRolla: October 10th
Guy Ritchie is back in the genre he knows best, and this appears to be an English gangster film much in the mold of Lock Stock and Snatch. We’ll see if he still has his stuff, but for now, I’ll just pop in my DVDs of the older films that I can trust, and look to be almost identical in plot to this one.
Movies that Intrigue Me
5) Changeling: October 24th 
Angelina Jolie stars in this Clint Eastwood film about a woman whose son goes missing and is returned with something different. Any film that Eastwood directs (that’s not Flags of our Fathers of course) is worth checking out, and this looks to be no different. It got solid reviews with it premiered at Cannes, and Angelina Jolie is ready for a solid role.
4) W.: October 17th
 A film that is certain to be the years most controversial, Oliver Stone directs this biopic about our current president. While I am sure Stone will exaggerate many of the details, there is no denying that he has put together an awesome cast including Josh Broling (as Bush), Elizibeth Banks (as First Lady Laura), James Cromwell (as his father H. W.), Richard Dreyfuss (as Cheney), Thadie Newton (as Condoleezza Rice) and others as the rest of his cabinet. Whatever happens in this film, it will certainly be interesting.
3) Synecdoche, New York: October 24th
A film that I have been awaiting since last year, this is Charlie Kauffman’s directorial debut. I have loved the films he has written (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Being John Malkovich, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, and Adaptation. ) and this should prove to be equally compelling. It stars Philip Seymour Hoffman as a playwright who attempts to put on a production in a warehouse that includes a scale model of New York. It will probably boggle our minds, but that is Kauffman, isn’t it?
2) Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist: October 3rd
Michael Cera and Kat Dennings star as the eponymous Nick and Norah who meet each other one night in New York and have adventures. Something about the trailer really brought this movie to my attention, probably the indie style that I love. Cera is always great, and Dennings was really cool in Charlie Bartlett, so I might make my way to a cinema this week to check it out.
1) Zach and Miri Make a Porno: October 31st 
Seth Rogen and Elizibeth Banks star as two best friends who decide to make a porno together. This is Kevin Smith’s first film since Clerks 2, and I can only hope that it matches that film in hilarity. The only thing I don’t understand, is why are they releasing this film on Halloween? I guess there is probably a Saw film being released anyways.
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