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October '08
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August '08
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Versus #3: Treasure v Juno
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By Aaron 12/25/2007
Back to the madness. The Nicholas Cage/Jerry Bruckheimer blockbuster National Treasure: Book of Secrets has nothing in common with the indie fave Juno, which makes their showdown all the more intense. Both movies had their own humor and their own modes of tension. As always, the rules are simple, Thunderdome rules: two movies enter, one movie leaves.
National Treasure: Book of Secrets is the sequel to the 2004 treasure hunting flick where Ben Gates (Nicholas Cage), Patrick Gates (Jon Voight), Abigail Chase (Diane Kruger), and Riley Poole (Justin Bartha) found the templars’ treasure. In this flick, they set out to find a mythical treasure that will clear the name of the Gates’ ancestor, Thomas gates, accused of being the chief conspirator of the Lincoln assassination. Typical Disney fare ensues with mixed success. You can read my review here.
Juno follows 16-year old Juno (Ellen Page) who struggles with a surprise teen pregnancy after she attempted to end her boredom by sleeping with her friend Paulie (Michael Cera). Running from the abortion clinic and supported by her parents (Allison Janey and J.K. Simmons) and her best friend Leah (Olivia Thirbley) decides to give her baby to a seemingly perfect couple anxious to adopt (Jennifer Garner and Jason Bateman). But everything, and everyone is not as it seems. Along with a great soundtrack and a phenomenal script by first-timer Diablo Cody, this film easily jumps into the top year movies of the year. You can read my review here.
Challenge 1: Acting
 Hopefully you did take the time to read my Juno review so I don’t have to repeat myself in raving about Ellen Page (she SHOULD win the Oscar, but likely won’t) and the rest of the perfectly cast actors in Juno. The actors in Treasure were not so much bad or good, but limited by a mediocre Disney script. While Jason Bartha does everything he can to give the movie heart and laughter, it just cannot topple the insurmountable powerhouse of the Reitman-Cody-Page juggernaut of Juno.
Treasure – 0; Juno – 1
Challenge 2: Directing
 Does anyone know who directed Treasure? Nope. I could check, but my internet has been pretty slow lately. Pretty much whoever it was did a pretty average job. They took a Disney action flick and made it pretty good, and pretty entertaining. So you know, average marks. But you can better believe Jason Reitman worked his ass off to create a kick ass follow up to his already well directed Thank You For Smoking. Like I said at the end of the last category, and will likely say it again below, the Reitman-Cody-Page juggernaut of Juno is too much for the random Disney hack who churned out his run of the mill sequel.
Treasure – 0; Juno – 2
Challenge 3: Writing
 Again I have previously addressed this – that the poor actors of Treasure – including some fine talents like Cage, Bartha and Keitel are sadly burdened by some random-ass Disney hack who churned this sucker out when he caught an entertaining Civil War segment on the history channel. At the very least, the amazing effort of Diablo Cody was going to stomp the shit out of him anyways. Her story is far and above better than the clichéd action fare of Treasure, being original in its genre (avoiding possible cliché pitfalls of teen dramas at nearly every turn) and being an overall entertaining story. Her dialogue is better than the few great lines Bartha is allowed to utter (or improv) as actors from Page to Janey dispense witticisms that would have shut Riley down fast.
Treasure – 0; Juno – 3
Challenge 4: Action
 Treasure did do some things right – providing more, and better action than the original, albeit unrealistic and implausible, but action is action. The heists Gates has to pull off in the name of history and science are sharp and fun, aided by his side kicks Bartha and Kruger, they are entertaining and exciting. For Juno – I mean, they should just write this category off with a “who cares” glance – I mean Juno is exciting, and tense, and you’re worried about the characters, but the pace of the movie, and the feeling of the movie is not about “action” because real life doesn’t have “action” – normal people don’t break into the White House, or the Library of Congress, or find rooms full of gold.
Treasure – 1; Juno – 3
Challenge 5: Comedy
 Let me help Treasure put up their petty defense of this category. Bartha is great in this movie – his Riley Poole is hilarious, and provides a funny side kick that is almost as good as Connery was in The Last Crusade. His timing is decent and his character as a whole is one you can connect to, which helps his comedy. Unfortunately for him, ALL of the characters in Juno are easy to connect too. And they’re a hell of a lot funnier and wittier. Connect the dots: all characters funny + connected to you = funnier movie. I mean, most readers probably skipped over this category – Juno is one of the funniest movies of the year!
Treasure – 1; Juno – 4
Challenge 6: Drama
 Treasure went through the motions of a slightly above average Disney flick – and we all know how tense those are. I mean, did anyone REALLY think any of the Gates characters would die? I mean, Disney can’t let any of them die until they check their box office numbers and decide on how many sequels they’re going to make. The weak villains didn’t exactly make things super tense or suspenseful either. Juno on the other hand has several storylines that you wonder about: how will the pregnancy go, will she keep the baby, will she end up with Paulie, and so on. Plus, since the movie is so real, it’s a lot easier to be involved in the story, involved in the characters lives, something that is pretty hard to do when Gates casually busts into the Library of Congress.
Treasure – 1; Juno – 5
Challenge 7: Music
 This category is almost as unfair as comedy. Juno even let Treasure take off the boxing gloves for this one and go bare handed but it wasn’t close. While Treasure tries hard to pull itself, scraping as all hell, into the same league as Indiana, Indiana had John Williams. Ben Gates, does not have John Williams. Ben Gates has…Breaking Benjamin and some other random hacks. Yawn. I mean, John Williams would have just been a starting point, a way to enter combat with their head held high. Juno on the other hand leaps into the ring with an armful of original lo-fi acts revolving around Kimya Dawson (solo, with Antsy Pants, and The Moldy Peaches). The rest of the crew are no slouches either, and Kimya’s down to earth, humorous lyrics and emotional feeling knock Treasure down pretty damn fast.
Treasure – 1; Juno – 6
Challenge 8: Entertainment
 As it is pretty clear by now, Treasure is a little behind and a category like Entertainment can be pretty subjective here. What is entertaining? Explosions and action? Or witticisms and comedy? Oh yeah, it’s DISNEY action. And the sharpest humor I’ve ever seen in a movie. Wonder which one I’m going to go with here. Maybe this category wasn’t very fair either, as I said in my Juno review that Juno was one of the most satisfying movies I have ever seen.
Treasure – 1; Juno – 7
Challenge 9: Intangibles
 Juno laid down her killer instinct for a second and considered not even coming back to the ring, just to let Treasure get one more category and escape anymore of the embarrassing bludgeoning Juno had been dishing. Then Juno remembered that Diane Kruger never really kissed Nic Cage and Michael Cera came up and patted Juno on the shoulder, prodding her to get back in the ring. I spoke several times about Juno’s triple threat, but the one-two-punch of Page-Cera, although not used that often, was plenty to take this category easily.
Treasure – 1; Juno – 8
 Juno looked down at the bleeding Treasure, crying in it’s shame and Juno said, "Paulie’s cooler than you, you pathetic Disney action flick. But try to have a Merry Christmas – maybe you can soak that knee and nurse your bloody face."
Previous versus matchups
The Golden Compass v I Am Legend
Atonement v Before the Devil Knows You're Dead
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Bob’s October Movie Preview
By Bob 10/2/2008
 Now that we have gotten through the sludge of September movies, it’s time for some Oscar contenders, and movies that think they’re good but not. Halloween is also this month so there is bound to be a lot of random horror movies going on and of course a Saw film to soak in. Whatever happens though, I’m gonna guess that at least one of the following gets some nods come Oscar time. With that, my October Movie Preview:
Cops, Robbers, and Blah
10) Pride and Glory: October 24th
From the director of Miracle comes one of the most clichéd trailers of ALL TIME. Edward Norton as A COP. Colin Farrell as HIMSELF. What more could we want from a movie? I don’t know, and I will likely never find out because this is not one flick I will be seeing.
9) Max Payne: October 17th 
As I feverishly go through my mind trying to think of a video game adaptation that has actually been a good movie, I’m also reminded of all of the bad movies Marky Mark has made over the past ever (excluding The Departed and Boogie Nights of course). I would be shocked if there is anybody who is actually excited for this, as anybody who actually played the game has probably outgrown the genre.
8) Body of Lies: October 10th
Leonardo Dicaprio. Russell Crowe. Ridley Scott. Something about spies. The trailers really tell us nothing about this film except, “How am I supposed to run an operation when you’re running a side operation.” I don’t really know what that means, but Leo says it in the trailer. This film looks like another lame attempt by Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe to win Oscars. I’m not buying it.
7) Flash of Genius: October 3rd
Greg Kinnear stars as an man who invents the intermittent windshield wiper, and then has it stolen from him buy the major auto manufacturers. This just looks like a boring film that will get a lukewarm response. For some reason, however, it has been getting a huge level of marketing with television and even radio advertisements. I doubt people will buy it.
6) RocknRolla: October 10th
Guy Ritchie is back in the genre he knows best, and this appears to be an English gangster film much in the mold of Lock Stock and Snatch. We’ll see if he still has his stuff, but for now, I’ll just pop in my DVDs of the older films that I can trust, and look to be almost identical in plot to this one.
Movies that Intrigue Me
5) Changeling: October 24th 
Angelina Jolie stars in this Clint Eastwood film about a woman whose son goes missing and is returned with something different. Any film that Eastwood directs (that’s not Flags of our Fathers of course) is worth checking out, and this looks to be no different. It got solid reviews with it premiered at Cannes, and Angelina Jolie is ready for a solid role.
4) W.: October 17th
 A film that is certain to be the years most controversial, Oliver Stone directs this biopic about our current president. While I am sure Stone will exaggerate many of the details, there is no denying that he has put together an awesome cast including Josh Broling (as Bush), Elizibeth Banks (as First Lady Laura), James Cromwell (as his father H. W.), Richard Dreyfuss (as Cheney), Thadie Newton (as Condoleezza Rice) and others as the rest of his cabinet. Whatever happens in this film, it will certainly be interesting.
3) Synecdoche, New York: October 24th
A film that I have been awaiting since last year, this is Charlie Kauffman’s directorial debut. I have loved the films he has written (Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind, Being John Malkovich, Confessions of a Dangerous Mind, and Adaptation. ) and this should prove to be equally compelling. It stars Philip Seymour Hoffman as a playwright who attempts to put on a production in a warehouse that includes a scale model of New York. It will probably boggle our minds, but that is Kauffman, isn’t it?
2) Nick and Norah’s Infinite Playlist: October 3rd
Michael Cera and Kat Dennings star as the eponymous Nick and Norah who meet each other one night in New York and have adventures. Something about the trailer really brought this movie to my attention, probably the indie style that I love. Cera is always great, and Dennings was really cool in Charlie Bartlett, so I might make my way to a cinema this week to check it out.
1) Zach and Miri Make a Porno: October 31st 
Seth Rogen and Elizibeth Banks star as two best friends who decide to make a porno together. This is Kevin Smith’s first film since Clerks 2, and I can only hope that it matches that film in hilarity. The only thing I don’t understand, is why are they releasing this film on Halloween? I guess there is probably a Saw film being released anyways.
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